You have just received your post-secondary education diploma, you are ready to take on the world and you hear: ”Congratulations, you are going to be a Mother!” MOTHER? But I’m not ready. I don’t even know how to change a diaper, yet alone how to prepare bottles, deal baby food, baby rash… STOP!
This is the world wind of emotions I went through when I found out I was going to be a Mother. I was 20 years old. Fresh out of college, new job, new home and now, new life growing inside me. What was an overwhelming feeling of shock , suddenly became fear. Will I be a good Mother? –it was clear in my mind that no matter if I was 20 or the age I am now, I would carry this pregnancy to term.
First thing, calculate when baby would be born. Ok great, I won’t have a belly during summer time (will be able to work out the baby fat during the hot summer months). Even better, I’ll be 21 when I give birth… I’ll be a whole year older –like that will make a difference. You have passed the feeling of shock and the fear is slowly going away. You think: ”I can do this!” and BAM…
Morning sickness! Not even wanting to get out of bed in the morning because the thought of putting your feet on the ground makes you want to suddenly run – not that you feel the urge to exercise, but you know what I mean. I think I tried all the tips everyone told me; roll over before getting up, keep crackers by your bed and eat some before getting up, what ever you do, DO NOT DRINK when getting up… I did everything, nothing worked! Then morning sickness became all day sickness. ”I’m hungry?” ”Want some popcorn?” ”Get out of my way!!” YEAH! That lasted almost 12 weeks. I would call my Mom in the evening crying ”WHYYYYYY? Why am I feeling this way? WHYYYYY?”
One morning, wake up like morning sickness never happened. Finally, I was feeling like me again… until the sudden weight gain! Going from a size 5 to maternity clothes give you that sudden feeling of shock. However, it’s for a good cause, you know that this baby growing inside you needs all the nutrients you are able to provide to support growth. You are tired of referring the baby as, well, baby. You are looking forward to that sonogram where they might be able to tell you if it’s a boy or a girl. The feeling of shock from the clothes is long gone as you start to think of baby clothes, baby room… and baby moving?
First pregnancy, you have NO idea what to expect. You over analyse everything: I think I felt the baby move! If I sleep on my tummy, will it cause harm to the baby? Can I eat that? You become overprotective of someone you have never met before… you have bonded with this life growing inside you. Then, the day arrive when you get to see baby for the first time… the sonogram!
Although you feel like your bladder will explode, you are full of joy to be able to see your little bundle for the first time. What is a very short wait in the waiting room seems like hours because of all the fluid you had to take… but it’s for a good cause, you will finally see your baby. The nurse calls you in. Makes you lay down and starts the sonogram. ”Excuse me, miss? You have too much fluid. It makes it hard to see the baby correctly. Could you go and evacuate no more than 1/2 cup?” Your hormones feel like kicking and yell ”1/2 cup? Lady, if I start, I can’t promise I will stop!” but then you think to yourself, you want to see the baby (it’s a good thing you are good in the kitchen and can guess 1\2 cup without having to actually measure). Finally, the moment you have been waiting for… baby is on the monitor. You have a hard time figuring what is the head and the butt… but it’s the cutest baby you have ever seen, and it’s yours.
It’s a girl!! Finally, we have graduated from baby to girl. We can now work on a name. We had 2 names lined up: Erika & Marie-Eve. I’ll spare you the details but let’s just say that Erika did not make the cut. Not only I know now that it’s a girl but I also know that she will be named Marie-Eve. Might has well call her by her name now… at this point, I’m passed the 20 weeks mark in my pregnancy and everything is going great!
25 weeks – following a car accident, I am put on bed rest. A few weeks later, pre-eclampsia kicks in… my blood pressure does the roller coaster like it’s at a theme park. After a few stays at the hospital, I make it to my due date… and doctor decide to induce labor.
After 10 hours & 38 minutes of labor, Marie-Eve sees the world. The look on her face when I first saw her was worth every morning sickness, hormone surges and the weight gain. I was 21 years old… and a Mother.
Now, almost 19 years later, she sometimes asks: Do you regret having me? To my reply: “Not in a million years!!” Although, I was only 20 years old when I got pregnant, she is one of the greatest gifts life gave to me.
